the Buddha talked about the 5 skandhas (heaps or components) that make up an individual. yet a self cannot be found in any of those components. Pema Chodron talked about how a car is made of many parts. for convenience we call the entire thing “a car.” it is easier than listing every single part. yet i cannot find a car in any of those parts. the car does not independently exists. the label or construct is empty.
Pema said the funny thing is, once we label something, we don’t see the parts anymore. that it is like we are unable to actually appreciate anything we perceive. She told the story that one of Chogyam Trungpa’s teachers once pointed out (a tree) and said “they call that a tree.” once we label, perhaps the essence or the direct experiencing of the tree is lost.
we are all made of parts. for example, we can be very “cunning and resourceful.” someone looking for entrepreneurship may see that as a great asset while a philanthropist may be repulsed by it. in addition to our cunning and resourcefulness, we can also be a “procrastinator.” suddenly we are not that much of an asset to a headhunter. when isolated into parts we may look a thousand different ways. when seen as a whole person made of all those parts, we cannot get the essence of all those parts into a singular label.
who am I? does my name describe me? do i live in my head or my toes or my elbows? i cannot find me in any of those parts. yet “i” have a sense of being here. can “i” be kind sometimes and unkind at others? can the same “i” love and hate the same person? i cannot define “i” because it is so many different things. yet none of those things are “me.”
Pema said that “even the most enlightened ones have a continued state of being”… she said it is not helpful to think of the self as non-existent or as an illusion, but to view it more as a present, clear, moment to moment awareness that is open to creativity.
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the paradox of being 